


Actions Speak Louder (Than Words)

by ThatFilmGraduate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Actions and Words, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No War, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFilmGraduate/pseuds/ThatFilmGraduate
Summary: Actions speak louder than words, wasn't that the saying? Perhaps that applied to them. But Remus was determined to say the words one day. Maybe not that day or tomorrow or next week or even next month, but he knew that he would tell Sirius that he loved him one day.In which Remus can't say 'I love you' but Sirius already knows.Remus/Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 86





	Actions Speak Louder (Than Words)

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these HP characters. Nor do I own any of the television shows, channels, or other notable products mentioned in the following story. 
> 
> Written: November, 2016  
> Rewritten: November, 2019

"I do, you know. I know I've never exactly said it, but I want you to know – I **need** you to know that I do. Very much."

To anyone else, this would be an odd way to start a conversation. To anyone else, this may have been a confusing jumble of words. But to Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, every word and its implication was understood, for this was not the first time they'd had this conversation.

Standing in the doorway of their kitchen, Remus watched as his other half unpacked their evening meal. Sirius looked up and understanding grey eyes caught his. To be quite frank, that annoyed Remus. It annoyed him that Sirius – brash, ignorant, impatient Sirius Black – could be so understanding with him; that the other man could be so fucking patient with him.

It was a simple gesture with simple words that had set it off.

All Sirius had done was bring in a takeaway and inform Remus. But it was what he had said when he had informed Remus that had done it: 'Food, Love.' That was it. Two simple words followed by a kiss on the forehead. But it had been enough to make the werewolf stress out; to remind him of his inability to return such easy words of affection.

It was utterly frustrating and it irritated him to no end. He knew he felt it. Sirius was his everything, so he didn't understand why couldn't just say it. It wasn't like he had lived a life without love around him. In fact, unlike Sirius's childhood, his had been filled with adoring parents and accepting family, despite his monthly issues.

If anything, Remus reasoned, Sirius should be the one with the problem. Except, well, he sort of did have a problem. Sirius didn't seem to be able to differentiate between 'loving' something and **loving** something. He didn't seem to be able to see the difference between liking something a lot and feeling real love for that something. He threw the word around too much, and it bothered Remus. It bothered him that his boyfriend could say those words so freely and not think of the connotations or reasoning behind them.

"I know," Sirius replied simply before he returned to his task of unpacking the food.

Remus leaned against the doorframe and shoved his hands in his pockets to stop them from fidgeting, "No, Pads. I mean it. I do."

"I know, Re," Sirius repeated, moving the plastic bag to the side.

A small pause and then:

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Sirius replied, concentrating on his task.

"Except it's not though, is it?" he countered. "It's not okay. I should be able to say it without..." He bit his cheek hard and took a second to compose himself. He hated having this conversation, but he couldn't help it. He needed Sirius to know how he felt, even if he couldn't say the actual words. "I should be able to say it. It shouldn't be so one-sided. I should be able to tell you that I do."

Sirius paused and looked up at the werewolf, wearing the expression he wore whenever they had this discussion; the one that said: _I know. It's okay. Please, let's stop this before it goes too far._ Sirius was tired of this conversation, Remus knew. Remus was too, but he just wanted Sirius to know.

"Because I really do," he continued when the silence lingered for too long. "I just... I have a hard time saying it. I don't know why."

For a long moment, nothing was said. Remus and Sirius just stared at one another. Then Sirius sighed and said: "You don't have to tell me, Remus. I know that you have trouble saying it. And I understand. Really, I do. It's okay."

Remus frowned and stared at his long-term boyfriend. Sirius Black, he realised, had an unfathomable amount of patience to be able to put up with him and his problems for so long.

Remus Lupin could probably be defined in several words: kind, patient, quiet, private. Sirius Black could also be described in several words: confident, reckless, loud, open. Remus was logical and introverted. Sirius was hot-headed and extroverted. That was how people saw them. That was the image they had built for themselves respectively, whether they meant to or not. When people saw them, they always said that Remus was the one to keep Sirius in check. But they were wrong.

They were wrong because Remus Lupin and Sirius Black could not actually be defined by a few words. They were wrong because they didn't see how much Sirius kept Remus in check too. They didn't see how caring and compassionate Sirius could be; how sweet and patient he truly was. Most only saw the outbursts and the brashness. Only Remus and select few got to see the other side of Sirius; the one that he kept hidden from the world; the one where he wasn't just impulsive and brave, but where he was also thoughtful and smart and gentle and just bloody perfect.

"I will be able to say it one day, you know," Remus said as Sirius began to load the food onto the plates. He only noticed then that Sirius had ordered his favourite: House Special Chow Mein. It made him smile because Sirius was generally quite forgetful but when it came to anything Remus-related, the other man seemed to have an eidetic memory. Although Sirius had difficulty differentiating between 'loving' and **loving** , Remus knew the other man loved him something fierce. "I promise."

Sirius looked up and grinned. It was the type of grin that never failed to make those pesky butterflies in Remus's stomach flutter: enigmatic and charming and only for him. He then started on his own food container: Char Sui Chow Mein, no carrots.

Remus watched for a long moment, studying the way Sirius moved so gracefully around their kitchen and enjoying the domesticity of it all, before he said, "I really am sorry."

Sirius sighed and met Remus's gaze steadily. Oftentimes eye contact made the werewolf feel uneasy, but he couldn't look away from Sirius, no matter how nervous or awkward he felt.

"Remus, just… shut up, okay?" he said sternly but with no real bite; more affectionately exasperated, if such a thing existed. "I know and I understand. You don't have to say it and I don't want you to feel like you need to say it."

"But..."

"But nothing," Sirius interrupted. "Look, Remus, people express themselves in different ways. It's not always by saying _I love you_. Sometimes it's _eat up_ or _have my jacket_. Sometimes you don't have to say anything at all. Sometimes it's all in the actions, and your actions tell me everything."

Remus thought about this but before he could ask anything, Sirius continued:

"Back in school, do you remember in seventh year when you broke Rosier's nose, all because he said something that you didn't like?"

"Well, he..."

Remus trailed off because he couldn't really defend his actions. Evan Rosier was a nasty little runt and he had deserved it. He had called Sirius a faggot and then said that Sirius would bend over for just about anyone and Remus had just snapped. Not only because Sirius was his best mate, not only because Remus could not tolerate bullying or homophobic slander, but also because he and Sirius were becoming more than friends and he was already falling for the ex-Aristocrat. A week's worth of detention had been well worth it.

"Right," Sirius agreed. "And when you go shopping, you always make sure to get those Muggle biscuits I like. You know, the ones with the chocolate all over."

"Chocolate Bourbons," Remus supplied.

"Yes, those ones," Sirius grinned, making an excited hand movement. "Or when you tidy the flat and wash my clothes, always making sure that not every aspect of my life is a complete mess. And when I'm ill and disgusting, you always take care of me."

Sirius paused and picked up the bottle of Pepsi, pouring it into the two glasses carefully.

"Or just last week," he continued, putting the bottle down and screwing the lid on. "When we went to Prongs's house to watch the fireworks and I got cold because it's November and, like an idiot, I ignored your advice to take some gloves or a scarf. Do you remember what you did?"

Remus frowned and shook his head because he couldn't remember doing anything out of the ordinary. It was Bonfire Night and they had watched the surprisingly grand display of fireworks. They drank with their friends before they grabbed some fish and chips. They went home, had fantastic anniversary sex, and then promptly fell asleep. It was a good night.

Sirius moved away from the bench and sauntered over to where Remus still stood in the doorway. He stopped when he was within touching distance, his grey eyes intense and still trained on the werewolf, and reminded, "You gave me your scarf and brought an extra pair of gloves with you."

"Well, of course I did," he replied. "You're always ignoring my advice."

"And you're always preparing for it because you know me," Sirius added, stepping closer and taking Remus's hands in his own. "And I know you. Look, Remus, what I'm trying to say is that I don't need verbal confirmation because I already know that you love me. I've seen it in the things you do for me."

Sure the other man was going to kiss him then and certain that he wanted to kiss Sirius, Remus leaned forward. But Sirius didn't kiss him. No, instead he grinned, released Remus and moved over to the countertop where he grabbed Remus's glass and plate. He then walked back over and handed them to the werewolf.

"I love you, Remus," Sirius stated for the umpteenth time since they became official. "I don't need you to say it back for me to know that you feel the same way, okay?"

Remus nodded, unsure if he was supposed to answer what seemed to be a rhetorical question or not.

"Good," Sirius responded, leaning forward and stealing a kiss.

The kiss made Remus feel strange but in the best possible way; like he was standing on a precipice, about to leap into unknown waters, unsure of what lay ahead but excited for whatever it was. It was chaste but lingering; gentle and sweet and not meant to be anything more than a reaffirmation of Sirius's words, and Remus fumbled with his plate and glass for a second, caught in the vortex that was Sirius Black.

Sirius pulled back and grinned before he picked up his own plate and glass. "Come on, then," he said, passing Remus and making his way into the living room.

Remus took a couple of seconds to gather his bearings before he followed and sat down on the couch beside Sirius. They made themselves comfortable, placing their drinks on the coffee table and their plates on a cushion on their laps. It felt wonderfully domestic and Remus felt at home; comfortable in a way he had never felt before.

Sirius grabbed the remote control and Remus watched as he stubbornly tried to work the device. After a few minutes of blundering, Sirius growled and handed the controller over to Remus who switched the television on and began scanning the Guide. Sirius sat back and began munching on his noodles.

"What are you in the mood for?" Remus asked, channel surfing and finding nothing that particularly took his fancy. "Blankety Blank?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Only Fools and Horses?"

"Nah."

"Oh, a rerun of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em is on..."

"Maybe... wait, what time is it?"

Remus checked his watch: 18:57. "Nearly seven," he answered before he cast a wary glance at Sirius. "Why?"

"Emmerdale will be on any minute now," Sirius stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He grinned, "Put it on."

Remus groaned, "Do I have to?"

"Hey, do I question your TV preferences?" Sirius retorted, raising an elegant eyebrow. "You made me watch that thing with the old bloke and the blue box. And did I complain?"

No, Remus remembered, Sirius did not question nor complain about watching Doctor Who.

"Fine," he lamented, heaving a long-suffering sigh before he flicked over to ITV, just as Emmerdale Farm was about to start.

"Thank you," Sirius grinned, settling back and quickly becoming absorbed with the Soap Opera.

Remus put the remote down and began eating his meal, inwardly cursing the Potters – both of them, despite knowing that James was in the same boat as him, what with Lily being obsessed with the television show as well. But it was James's wife who had introduced Sirius to the stupid programme, so he blamed James by association.

Remus couldn't see the appeal, personally. He wasn't sure why Sirius loved the show so much. A bunch of Muggles with issues hardly seemed like good entertainment to him, but Sirius was obsessed and he wasn't about to deny his live-in boyfriend his simple pleasures.

As the title sequence started, Remus prepared himself for 25 minutes of boredom and overacting.

Then he wondered if it was things like that – like sitting through a television show that he absolutely abhorred, and that Sirius knew he hated – that showed Sirius how much he loved him. He was willing to sit through nearly half an hour of terribleness just for Sirius, and maybe that was just one of the actions Sirius had been talking about.

Actions speak louder than words, wasn't that the saying? Perhaps that applied to them. But Remus was determined to say the words one day. Maybe not that day. Maybe not tomorrow or next week or even next month, but he knew that he would tell Sirius that he loved him one day.

For now, though, actions would have to do.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Television Shows Mentioned: Blankety Blank (1979 – 2016); Only Fools and Horses (1981 – 2003); Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em (1973 – 1978); Emmerdale (1972 – present; known as Emmerdale Farm until 1989); Doctor Who (1963 – 1989; 2005 – present).


End file.
